Ume
by Illegitimi
Summary: A short, little side story to 'The Hidden Life of Morino Ibiki'. Ibiki and Fujiwara-san vignette.


disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters contained therein, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto who is kind enough to let fans write fiction. I make no profit from this nor do I intend to.

**A/N:** Just a little something.

_**UME**_

(Plum Blossom)

Ibiki sat on his small, side porch patio in a chair and with his feet up on the railing. The dusk was slowly starting to set in and the sounds of the village were beginning to become hushed as the day turned into evening. He closed his eyes but not before taking a quick glance at Ayumu's house next door. The house was silent and the only light that could be seen was a dim kitchen light. Hiroshi had not come home yet and Ayumu was still out on a job. Ibiki had at least another couple of hours before he would leave to pick her up and walk her home. He had come home early, and after taking a shower and getting a small bite to eat he was now just sitting and enjoying some quiet time.

He heard his front door lock click open and someone walk into his home as if they owned it. When he recognized the foot steps he smiled. Leave it to Fujiwara-san to just enter his home like she lived there. It didn't matter to her that he paid rent to call it his home. The old woman had more then once decided to let herself in and perform either motherly duties like leave him food or just come in to socialize, and whether he liked it or not. She had long ago decided that she would be his mother figure, and he had more then once gotten scathing remarks about his habits in one way or another. He never commented because she had never really cared about is explanations.

Ibiki turned his head slightly to the side as the foot steps got closer. She stood in the porch's doorway, and carrying a six pack of beer in a bucket of ice. He smiled and without leaving his own seat he leaned over and dragged the other chair closer. He motioned for her to seat herself, and as she did she passed a beer over to him. With a heavy sigh she opened her beer and clinked the neck against his own.

"Cheers," she said taking a long pull and smiling with her eyes closed.

Ibiki returned the salute and also took his own long, drink. The cold drink went down his throat welcomingly. He looked over at her and smiled.

"So what brings you up here? And do you know how to knock? I _do_ pay rent here, and that means that I pay you so that I can call this place 'my home'. But somehow that still doesn't stop you..."

"Nope," Fujiwara-san said without concern. She smacked her lips appreciatively as she took another drink, and in essence emptying it. She took another bottle and quickly took another sip.

"You have no shame, do you?" Ibiki teased.

"None what so ever, and besides," she said looking at him out of the corner of her eyes, "that isn't something that some one like you would appreciate."

Ibiki scratched his chin and nodded thoughtfully. "I guess not..."

Suddenly Ibiki turned fully to look at Fujiwara-san in astonishment as he heard a match strike and a familiar smell drift across to him. When he looked over at his 'guest' he saw Fujiwara-san taking a deep hit off of a joint and then holding it out to him in question.

"You _do_ realize that I am ANBU...That you are offering what is technically an illegal substance to a public official..." He raised a brow but made no move to take the proffered smoke.

Fujiwara-san blew the smoke out and gave a small cough. "You're ANBU not KMP. You can't arrest me, and if you did I would evict you the minute I posted bail."

Ibiki gave a deep laugh and just looked at the old woman in consternation. She held the joint out to him and even waived it around impatiently.

"Yes or no. In or out...And when did _you_ become a pussy and care about 'theoretical' rules?"

Ibiki shook his head and took the joint. He placed it between his lips and inhaled deeply. He held the smoke in his lungs and then coughed it out. He hacked like an amateur amidst Fujiwara-san's giggles next to him. He smacked his chest and handed the smoke back to her. Taking a drink of beer he let the alcohol and the mild hallucinogenic slowly work their way through his system. It had been _years_ since he had smoked. A detailed study of drugs comprised a part of every nin's education, and when one joined ANBU an even more in-depth training had to take place. It couldn't just be theoretical in that in order to fully understand something you had to experience it. One third of nin's were non-pulsed by it, while one third generally partook secretly, and the last third stayed clear away from drugs. He was in the last group, and not because he was prudish or self-righteous, but because he was such a control freak. He didn't like not being fully in control of himself, and every time that he had taken it he had turned into this massive bump on a log. Nothing fazed him, but at the same time he couldn't do anything as well. Each and every time he had just sat there and watched the world slowly, zip by. So why did he do it now? He mentally shrugged at the idea. He had no idea, but it was all that he would do anyway. He just stupidly rose to the bait due to Fujiwara-san's peer pressure. Damn the old bird...

They sat silently next to each other drinking, and Fujiwara-san quickly bogarting the joint into nothingness. The evening dimmed and slowly one by one the birds in the neighborhood started to quiet. It was a companionable silence that was comforting to them both. At some point Fujiwara-san looked over at Ibiki and cocked her head to the side. Her eyes were glassy and there was a loose and dippy smile on her face. Ibiki couldn't help himself- he smiled. She was such a daff. She could be lovingly tyrannical one moment and then stupidly drunk the next minute. She ruled over them all with an iron fist but her heart was always on her sleeve. He just couldn't _help_ but like her. She was tenacious and steadfast as only the best of friend's could be, and he felt like his relationship with her was his own, personal and heavily guarded secret treasure. It was like that with Ayumu as well. He greedily and secretly not only kept them to himself but watched over them as well. Their beauty and dignity was something that he wanted to keep all to himself.

"Ibiki-kun, it's funny how things work out, isn't it? I mean, did you _ever_ think that you were going to be a part of ANBU? And not only work there but get as far as you did? Did you ever think that you would have the scary (and here she couldn't help but giggle almost girlishly) reputation that you have now? Huh? Now did you?"

Ibiki smiled patiently and took a sip of his beer. Leave it to Fujiwara-san to ask only the most personal of questions, and demand answers. No one has ever asked him that, and not even Ayu. She had always accepted him and who he was, and had always made it very clear that she loved every bit of him and who he was. But she had never asked him such pointedly, personal questions, and not that he wouldn't have minded. Not in the least, but she was very sensitive to his privacy. Not so Fujiwara-san. She was the proverbial bull in a china shop; she plowed a head and with caring only about the truth, and not so much the ramifications of her methods.

"I am the man I am today because of what I have been through. I don't know if I would be better or worse if I hadn't gone through all of it. Most probably I wouldn't be as_ interesting_ as I am now, that much is for sure."

Fujiwara-san looked at Ibiki with comically half-lidded eyes. Ibiki grinned widely at her half-assed look.

"You think so? I guess...You most definatly wouldn't be as interesting as you are. I mean, you'd still be big and everything (and Ibiki rolled his eyes at the irrelevance) and maybe even as deadly, but you certainly wouldn't be as _arrogant_ and _amusing_ as you are now. I mean, I don't think that you would have that certain _edge_ to your personality that we all know and love."

"Oh? Are you telling me that I wouldn't be as big and as mean an asshole as I am now?" Ibiki asked dryly.

Fujiwara-san nodded emphatically. "Certainly not! And why does everyone think that being an asshole is such a _bad_ thing? It can't be_ that_ bad because assholes always get their fair attention of admirers. Who can't _help_ but admire us? We live by our rules and everyone else be damned." Fujiwara-san gave a snort of disgust and waived her hand wildly in the air.

Ibiki smiled at Fujiwara-san adding her own personality into the same bin as his own. He certainly didn't refute it.

"You used your experience for the good Ibiki-kun. Most other people would have either withered away and died or just gone into hiding. But not my Ibiki-kun! He grabbed life by the balls and stepped up to the plate to hit a home run. And what I like most about you is that you make no excuses and offer no explanations. Good for you!"

Ibiki shrugged. "No sense in letting that all go to waste."

"Being a 'bad boy' has its own charm." Fujiwara-san then leaned forward and leered at Ibiki. "Besides, _everyone_ knows that the good boys and girls _never_ end up with the good boys and girls...We're _too irresistible_ to people like Ayumu and my late husband. They might dabble with the straight and narrow life, but they can't help but be drawn to the bent...Opposites attract for a reason. Two of the same is just too boring."

Ibiki nodded at the analogy. She was right. He had 'dated' a few nins over the years (ok- so they hadn't dated but rather just fucked, but there was a lady present after all) and the similarities in their life style just hadn't given him the kick or delight in order to keep his interest for very long. Similarity certainly had bred contempt as well as boredom.

"You know, my late husband was a 'good' man, Ibiki. He was just like Ayumu in so many ways. He was as honest as the day is long, and though he wasn't perfect he _was_ perfect for me..."

Ibiki said nothing, and he kept his expression carefully schooled. He was standing on the edge of a dangerous precipice, and one he wasn't too sure that he wanted to stare into because he had no idea what would be staring back at him. So he kept silent and let his companion ramble on.

"I know that you know Ibiki, but I have no idea _how_ and I probably don't want to know...but I am sure that it has to do with _something_ sneaky and devious-"

Ibiki let a small corner of his mouth curl upwards.

"But my husband wandered off for a while during our marriage...I don't know what happened, and I probably don't want to know what started it, but for whatever reason he did...I can only assume that he had a momentary lapse in reality maybe? Either way, I think that he learned his lesson, and very painfully. But not by me. No, I think he realized the depth and width of the destruction that he caused all on his own. Either way..." She looked down morosely at her beer and seemed to slump in on herself in dejection.

"Either way I think that it was very kind hearted and big of you to forgive him. Not many people could have done that," Ibiki said softly. He didn't like to see the normally ebullient and irascible woman like this. It made her seem years older and much frailer then she really was. "I don't know if I could forgive something like that."

Fujiwara-san shrugged. "You never know. What people see is often different then what really is. Besides, Ayumu would _never_ do that. She might fuck up in other ways, but cheat on you?_ No way_..."

"How do _you_ think that Ayu would fuck up?"

"She'd accuse _you_ of cheating on her."

Ibiki looked affronted, but the booze and the weed caused only a minimal facial reaction. "That's bullshit..."

Fujiwara-san gave a drunken and weed-induced giggle, and after taking a last puff she dropped the joint on the floor and put it out with her shoe. Ibiki made a mental note to clean up after she left as he wasn't in the mood to explain to Ayu the joint smear on his floor.

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter Ibiki-kun. I already know that she thinks that you were balling that Anko broad..."

Ibiki couldn't help but cringe at the crudity. There was something about a mother figure using the term 'balling' in regards to one's love life that wasn't too appealing.

"We went over all that and Ayu was set straight."

"Oh really? You told her that you had slept with that nin-chick?" Fujiwara-san gave Ibiki a funny look.

"She seemed to think that Anko and I were in a relationship, and I told her that we weren't. Which was the total truth." Ibiki looked back at her straight in the eye.

Fujiwara-san shook her head. "That wasn't what I said Ibiki, and you know it. I asked if you had ever come clean with Ayu about you having slept with Anko before."

Ibiki remained silent. She had him there. He and Anko_ did_ have a one-nighter many, many, many moons ago. In fact, it had been so long ago and they had both been so drunk that it was even less then a hazy memory. They had been fifteen and both had been bored and drunk. Nothing had ever been said about it afterward.

"It was a long time ago when we had been teenagers. It meant less then nothing to me."

"But I bet that it would have meant _plenty_ to Ayumu, and certainly after Anko's most recent behavior..."

"Which is why she will _never_ hear about it," he said coldly.

Fujiwara-san smacked him on the arm. "Don't get your knickers in a twist...like I would _ever_ say anything. But see? See what I mean?"

Ibiki gave her a blank look. "See what? You are making no sense. Have another beer why don't you..."

Fujiwara-san stopped for a moment and looked confused. "What? What was I talking about...? Oh yeah- my husband! He was a _good man_ Ibiki," Fujiwara-san said looking at him with a suddenly fierce gaze. "I loved him deeply, and even during the worst of times. I still do. Maybe that is stupid. Maybe that is foolish and unreasonable, but I care as little now as I did then. He meant _that_ much to me, and I know that I meant _that_ much to him."

Ibiki reached over and took Fujiwara-san's hand in his own. He did nothing but silently offer his support. He also said nothing about her sudden leap in subjects. Just his luck to have to babysit a drunk and hop head...

"Well, every couple goes through things like that, right? Our relationships are always tested in one way or another. Unfortunately not many are as strong as you and I... Maybe Ayumu and Hiroshi are, but I don't see them being unfaithful to either you or Ren. No, I see them fucking up in other ways..."

Ibiki smiled and nodded. He agreed with her. Ayu and Hiroshi were steadfast and faithful to a fault. He had seen it plenty of times. His girl had thrown all propriety and pride to the wind when it came to him. And Hiroshi would be the same way. No, their weaknesses came in the name of Ibiki and Ren. Against all rhyme and reason Ayumu had decided to align herself with him, and Hiroshi had bared his closely held vulnerabilities in order to be with someone as sweet and gentle as Ren.

"You think that Ren and I will be their fuck ups?" Ibiki said it casually but deep inside he felt a small amount of trepidation.

"No," Fujiwara-san said shaking her head. "Not their fuck ups per say, but certainly their vulnerability. Just like that _woman_ was my husbands."

"I think that we are their strengths. Just as they are ours."

Fujiwara-san nodded and looked out into the twilight. Ibiki saw this conversation turning morose at best and depressing at worst. But he also felt that Fujiwara-san was carrying a heavy burden that she couldn't quite shake. It was a millstone around her neck that she had been carrying for the past twenty-five years. He thought it time that someone free her from it.

"Fujiwara-san, _let it go_. All you can do is be accountable for your own actions, and as far as I can tell they have been exemplary. You can't fool any of us with your attitude. We all know that you watch over us like a rabid Mother Hen. The God's know that we don't get away with shit when you are around..."

"No Ibiki, I _haven't_ been exemplary. I have done some_ terrible_ things..." She looked down at her lap and then at Ibiki with guilt written across her face. "I need to confess something..."

"You don't have to confess shit to anyone-" And certainly not me he thought.

"Oh yes I do! I need to tell you something that has been bothering me for a while..."

Ibiki had a pretty good idea what it was and if she wanted to confess in order to divest herself of one less burden then so be it. "Yes?"

"It was _me_ that trashed the shop. _I did it_. I was just so mad at my late husband and I took it out on Ayumu..." Fujiwara-san's face fell and she looked away with shame.

When she heard nothing from Ibiki she looked at him timidly and saw him smiling back at her. He shrugged and waived a hand in the air.

"Yeah, I know. So what? We are all allowed a moment of two of insanity. No one was hurt so no harm no foul."

Fujiwara-san looked stunned. "You mean you_ knew_? How?"

He leaned over and offered her a smug and snarky look. "Come on... I'm ANBU for shit's sake. I can figure out pretty much anything."

"You did not."

Ibiki nodded. "Sure I did. And besides that, it all turned out for the best. When you came and got me I ended having some of the best sex that I've ever had. You know that- you interrupted us."

Suddenly Fujiwara-san's face lit up. "I did, didn't I?! _Now_ I remember...You guys were on the outs and I brought you two together! It really did work out ok. How amazing is that?"

"Pretty amazing if you ask me."

"And the antique dealer next door said that you caused a big racket and caused some of his stuff to get broken. He also said that Ayumu was screaming loud enough to wake the dead." She shook her head and laughed. "That perv probably had his ear to the wall the entire time..."

Ibiki smiled such an arrogantly smug look that Fujiwara-san couldn't help but fall into a fit of laughter. She laughed so hard that her tears had turned around. "I'm glad that I gave him something interesting to do that day."

"And that was the beginning of the end, wasn't it? You two have been shagging to beat the band ever since then. No one has been getting any sleep..."

Ibiki shrugged. "Hey, when you got it you got it. What can I say? But enough of my sex life, let's change the subject please?"

Fujiwara-san raised a brow and looked pointedly at Ibiki's slightly pink cheeks. "What, man from ANBU? You shy all of a sudden?"

"I don't think that Ayu would want to know that people are grading her sex appeal."

"Feh. Lot you know about women, and especially if they have great sex appeal like Ayumu. You better watch out you know, some other nin might come along and try and snatch her up-"

"Like I would _ever_ let that happen," Ibiki said firmly.

"Hmm...That one-eyed, silver haired nin might," she said nodding firmly. "He was _panting_ after her that night he walked her home," Fujiwara-san said innocently. She just loved the nasty look that crept across his features. He looked mad enough to spit nails.

"He knows his place, and if he doesn't then I'll be sure to show him."

"Oh yeah. He was licking his lips looking at her tits and ass. You should have_ seen_ him-"

Ibiki looked forward and clenched his teeth. In his rising anger he didn't realize hat he still had her hand in his, and he must have been clutching it tightly as he heard her give a small grunt. He looked down and opened his hand quickly.

Fujiwara-san took her hand back quickly but still saw no reason not to needle to man. He needed to realize that he wasn't the only man alive who thought his woman desirable. All guys needed to come to that realization; they weren't the only one around that a girl could pick from. Not that she would want to see Ayumu with anyone different. She just wanted Ibiki to have a firm grip in reality was all.

"I'll bet you that he tries to make another run at her."

"I bet you that if he does I'll beat the shit out of him," was the quick reply.

"I bet you that he asks her out on a _date_."

Ibiki narrowed his eyes. "I bet you that unless he can do that from six feet under it won't be happening anytime soon."

"I bet you that he lays one on her kisser," Fujiwara-san said stroking the fire.

"He does that and I'll be next in line to lay one on his, and he'll be living on the dark side of the moon after that."

Fujiwara-san cackled in delight. Ibiki looked mad as hell and the vibes coming off of him were cold as ice. She took pity on her surrogate son and patted his knee. "Don't worry Ibiki-kun. Ayumu would never let anything get too far. She is just so in love with you that it borderlines on the _pathetic_."

Ibiki seemed slightly mollified but the conversation had planted more then a few seeds of thought in his head. _Fucking Hatake_. He was on par with Genma when it came to tallying women. The man was notorious for his bed hopping. Great, just great! Now besides watching out for crazed assassins he would also have to be cock blocking as well. Couldn't he just for _once_ catch a break? Just once, was it a lot to ask for a guy?

"Can we change the subject, _again_?"

"Is there _anything_ that we can talk about?"

"Yes, anything that doesn't have to do with sex and Ayu. Think that you can do that?"

Fujiwara-san looked doubtful, because that closed a whole lot of interesting avenues.

"Ok...How about you? You got any family?"

Ibiki rolled his eyes. Shit, she really knew how to pick them, didn't she? "I have a younger brother- Idate."

Fujiwara-san perked up. "Oh! You do? Where is he?"

"He lives elsewhere," Ibiki said obscurely.

"Is he ever going to come and visit?"

Ibiki shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe..."

"Don't you two ever talk?" Sheesh, it was like pulling teeth to get anything from this man she thought with irritation.

"Maybe..."

"You afraid that he'll try and put the _moves_ on Ayumu?"

Ibiki looked at Fujiwara-san with exasperation.

"Hey! I didn't say _anything_ about your brother having sex with Ayumu! So the question is valid."

Ibiki rubbed his face. Great. Now all he could think about was Idate getting a look at Ayu. They were the same age and had similar personalities. No way they wouldn't bond well. Now he had to wonder about his damn brother sniffing after Ayu...And he would. No doubt. There were enough bad feelings between the two that Idate might try and pull something just to get back at him for calling him a coward.

"Next question," Ibiki said dryly.

Fujiwara-san shook her head. "Nope. Answer _that_ one first."

"Idate wouldn't dare poach on my territory. I'd beat him to a pulp too. Happy?"

"Does he look like you?"

"Kinda, I guess. He isn't as big as me."

"Is he an asshole?"

Ibiki frowned. "I don't know!"

"Well you better, because Ayumu _likes_ assholes. Wasn't Hideo enough of a clue? And you yourself said that you are an asshole, so I am starting to see a pattern developing here. Though if he isn't big like you it might not all together work out..." Fujiwara-san looked away contemplatively. "You _might_ have a chance..."

"She would _never_ do that anyway."

Fujiwara-san looked at Ibiki with pity. "You really don't know women do you? Most women would _love _to have had two brothers. It's like getting matching book ends."

Ibiki's face fell and he couldn't help but look at the older woman as if she was cracked.

"I had two brothers once," she said proudly. "Of course I had them both at the _same_ _time_...Think that you would do that for Ayumu? Give a girl a thrill?"

"Didn't I say no talking about Ayu and sex in the same sentence?" He grabbed the bucket of beers and pulled them away and out of her reach.

"Hey!"

"You're officially cut off."

Fujiwara-san just frowned but then magically pulled out another joint, and as she started to light it up Ibiki snatched it out of her mouth and dropped it into one of the empty bottles. "That too!"

Fujiwara-san shrieked. "Hey! You are wasting good money! And not only that good weed..."

"Sucks to be you. Now fucking get a hold of yourself." Ibiki looked at her sternly and paid no attention to her look of outrage.

"Party pooper," she mumbled. "And that was my last one..."

"All I need is to have a drug raid at my house. Not a fun time for any involved. You better hope that they take you away if that happens because you won't want to deal with me if they don't."

"Well...aren't we all high and mighty Mister I Torture People for a Living? What balls you have..."

Ibiki looked at Fujiwara-san with contempt. "I'm not even going to dignify that remark with an answer. Just smoke up elsewhere...Anyway, is that where all my rent money goes to?"

"Hmm...Sometimes! You're last rent bought me half a brick..."

Ibiki gave a strangled laugh. "I _do not_ want to know that...Just go to the top of Hokage Mountain and do it if you have to. _Don't_ do it around Ayu... Do I have to explain myself further?"

"Fine. I'll do it at the shop."

Ibiki fixed her with an evil eye. "_Oh no you won't_! What did I _just_ say? Ayu is there as well as her _students_. Drag her down and then she'll have to face that battle ax Miyoki...and if _that_ happens I'll be _righteously_ pissed."

Fujiwara-san barked out a laugh. "Miyoki..._Puh-leeze_...She's too busy shagging Tsunade. I'll just blow the cover off _that_ little secret if she gets too out of hand."

Ibiki cringed. Great, now _there _was a wonderful mental image, and one he won't be able to erase anytime soon, save for death... He took a deep breathe. "No, Tsunade was-is- seeing Jiraiya. She's not bent that way."

Fujiwara-san rolled her eyes. How naïve could he be? "Ibiki! They had a three-some going for _years_. They used to daisy chain-"

"Oh for fucks sake! Stop it will you?! And where do you get all your info? I swear that you are as bad as Hiroshi sometimes...I can only imagine if you and Hiroshi worked for me."

"We'd uncover the _juiciest_ dirt for you, and I know that it would be _appreciated_." The old woman winked and blew Ibiki a sloppy raspberry kiss.

"It boggles the mind thinking about what you two would uncover."

"Come on Ibiki! Anyway, that is _old_ news. Everyone knows that. In fact, it is in one of Jiraiya's _Icha Icha_ books. Look back a few years. Better yet, ask your silver haired friend-"

"I certainly will not...Not in a million years."

"Whatever," she said waiving him away. "Next subject?"

"Can you be trusted to have a _civilized_ conversation?"

"Probably not," she said shrugging and smiling at him sweetly. "How come you are all of a sudden so tight-assed about this? When did _you_ start caring about being _civilized_?"

Ibiki took yet another calming breath. "I am _not_ tight-assed. Far, far from it. I am the _last_ person that could be given _that_ moniker. I am also as far from being _civilized_ as you are...I just don't want Ayumu involved in anything like that. She wouldn't be able to cope. Besides, it would be like having her help me out at ANBU."

"What, you think Ayumu has never partaken of the herb before?"

Ibiki nodded. "I am sure that she has given your great influence on her life..." he said with a small smile.

"And I bet that Ayumu would be a great asset to ANBU. I bet she could get info from a prisoner and right quick. Put her in some skimpy, see-through clothes and-"

"For fucks sake," Ibiki said laughing. "Back to Ayumu and sex are we? Will you _never_ give up?" Besides, he didn't want to share his fantasy of Ayu with anyone. Certainly not Fujiwara-san and certainly not with some dreg of society. "Ayu already gave interrogation a try and she scared herself witless. It _was_ sexy though, I'll give you that."

"Oh? Do tell!"

Ibiki told Fujiwara-san about Ayumu's time with Hideo in the Toyo lock up, and by the end of it both of them were laughing hysterically. He felt slightly bad for laughing as his girl really had gotten scared. But he had been there to finish it so all in all it had worked out ok.

"My little girl has spunk, I'll give you that! I'm glad that the two of you found each other Ibiki. It really makes me feel good knowing that she has you by her side." Fujiwara-san looked at Ibiki in avid fascination. "Ibiki-kun...What is the _grossest_ thing that you've ever had to do at ANBU?"

"I stuffed Hideo's guts in his mouth while he was alive." Ibiki said it as calmly as if telling her what he had just bought at the market.

"No! _Really_? Nice move..."

"And I also tortured him thoroughly before hand. I just couldn't _help_ myself. I thought that Ayu deserved it as much as I did."

Fujiwara-san nodded emphatically. "Did you tell _her_ about it?"

He shook his head. "No, not in so many words, but she figured it out."

"And I bet she wasn't upset by it, was she? I know that she must have taken more then a secret thrill about it. All that caveman testosterone in her name would make any girl practically_ swoon_..."

Ibiki smiled warmly and nodded. "Yeah, she's a good egg." He looked at Fujiwara-san with a speculative look. "Fujiwara-san, you know for all the time that I've known you I still don't know your first name. What is it, if I might ask?"

Fujiwara-san suddenly coughed and turned a deep scarlet. She looked suddenly girlish and shy.

"Ume," she said quietly.

Ibiki's eyes raised clear up to his forehead. "Ume? That fits you perfectly, and a beautiful name it is. I really like it."

Fujiwara-san shrugged. "Well, I was born with fiery red hair, and my mother wanted to call me Sakura, but my father took one look at me and said: No, Sakura is too common a name. All they do is bloom in the spring and then that's it. They are just mainly ornamental. But a plum tree? They bloom in January and February long before the Sakura, and long after the Sakura has stopped blooming the Ume start to grow their fruit. They are the first signs of regeneration and their beauty and bounty last long into the year. Our daughter will be both beautiful as well as bountiful." Fujiwara-san gave a soft 'chuf' and picked at some invisible lit on her pants. "Well, I don't know if he had any of that right, but it's a nice story none the less."

Ibiki reached back over and took her hand in his again. "A beautiful story for a beautiful woman. Your beauty and bounty _are _still certainly in evidence, and will be for many more years to come."

Fujiwara-san looked over at Ibiki with an even greater blush. "That's horse shit Ibiki, and you know it."

Ibiki shook his head. "No it isn't. If it wasn't for you I would have lost Ayu on more then a few occasions. You made me see how much of a jack ass I could be. And we all know that you love Hiroshi more then anything, and no matter how the two of you treat each other. Ren too. You keep us in line and keep us grounded."

Fujiwara-san looked at Ibiki with a wry grin. "You are about as grounded as they come Ibiki. I think that out of all of us I believe that you and Ren are the pillars that keep us steady. Or at least the leash that keeps us in line."

He shrugged. "Maybe. Sometimes though I look too much into things. I am _too_ analytical and contemplative. I treat too many things like a game of Go or Chess. It's a hazard from my job. It is people like Ayu and Hiroshi that help people like Ren and myself ease up more and take more pleasure in the life around us."

"Or at least whack-jobs like them keep life interesting for you. You never know what's around the next bend in the road. Kind of like that silver haired nin- what did you say his name was? Oh yeah, _Hatake_. I bet he'll add some spice to Ayu's and your life _real _soon..."

Ibiki looked at Fujiwara-san with a less then playful look. "_Never_ mention that man's name and Ayu's again in the same sentence ever again..."

Fujiwara-san looked disappointed. "Another taboo subject?"

"Yes."

"Well what _can_ we talk about? You aren't the most gracious of hosts, you know..."

Ibiki chuckled. "You invited your self to this little party if you remember."

"Because you seemed lonely sitting up here and pining away all alone. So back to our _civilized_ conversation then. What _can_ we talk about?"

"How about you? Why don't you ever use your first name? I never hear anyone call you Ume."

Fujiwara-san looked at Ibiki with a harried look. "Do I really look like a Ume? Doesn't exactly go with the look..." She looked down at her appearance and then at Ibiki with a grin.

Ibiki couldn't help but smile widely. Fujiwara-san was wearing her trade mark overalls and a bright green blouse. Her shoes were heavy duty and her hair was teased a mile high. Today with her bright blue eye shadow she had taken to wearing false eye lashes, and with a heavy hand on the black eye liner she looked like a very dramatic, blue collar, gypsy queen.

"I think that Ume fits _perfectly_. In fact, I think that I'll just call you that from now on."

"Don't you _dare_...I haven't given you permission to do that."

Ibiki grinned widely. "Like I care?"

Fujiwara-san sat up and gave Ibiki a stern look. "I am your elder and I am your landlady. I'll throw your ass out onto the cold street."

"You are only my land lady for a few more days. And by the way, I am tendering my notice if you already haven't figured it out that is."

Fujiwara-san punched Ibiki in the arm. "That's right! I require thirty days notice. You are breaking your lease."

"So sue me."

"Don't tempt me...And I would serve you myself at ANBU. I'd make a big-ass stink and give everyone there fodder for gossip, and for years to come." Fujiwara-san looked evilly pleased with herself.

Ibiki just shook his head and raised his eye brows. "Really? I don't think so. Besides, too many people are scared of me to make any difference in my life there."

Fujiwara-san sat back and looked at Ibiki with amusement. "Are they really? Scared of you I mean. I don't know why. You are really nothing more then a big push over if you ask me."

Ibiki shrugged. "You are the only one. Most _normal_ people are afraid of me. Just goes to show how whacked you are. You don't know any better."

"No Ibiki. I just know that deep down you aren't as bad assed as you want people to think you are. Isn't being with Ayumu an example of that? Look at everything that you've done for Ayumu and Hiroshi and the facts all point to the softy in you..."

"Maybe I have ulterior motives?"

Fujiwara-san shook her head. "No, never that. Even you wanting to get your hands on her was never hidden. Or at least from me...I knew that you'd want her even before you ever met her! I knew the minute that you saw her that you would fall for her."

Ibiki smiled softly and looked out over his porch at the roof of her house next door. It was from this exact place that he had first spied her laying helplessly over there, and it wasn't too long afterward that he had gotten his first really glimpse at her. Even from a distance she had caught his attention, and it wasn't just because she looked like she was in trouble. There was something about her that stimulated more then just his curiosity.

"Hn."

The couple sat in silence and just stared out into the deepening twilight lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly Fujiwara-san looked at Ibiki.

"Hey, shouldn't you be going to pick her up right about now?"

Ibiki nodded but there was a sudden, blank look on his face. Fujiwara-san picked up on the change in demeanor immediately.

"Everything ok?"

Ibiki nodded and stood up stretching. "Yeah, she left in not the best mood today..."

Fujiwara-san's eyes narrowed. "Your meeting with Miyoki not go as planned?"

Ibiki shrugged. "No, it went exactly as I thought, but not Ayumu."

"Ah...Miyoki say 'no'?"

Ibiki looked at Fujiwara-san and shook his head. "No, not outright. But that wasn't what really set her fuse burning. It was the fact that Akira and Ryou got busted eaves dropping..."

Fujiwara-san cringed. "Shit...She must have lost her mind.."

Ibiki laughed darkly. "To say the least."

"What happened?"

Ibiki told her everything that had transpired and all Fujiwara-san could do was shake her head.

"And you got caught in the middle of things, I see. Well, she isn't the type to hold a grudge, I'll give her that. She burns hot but fast. By now she has probably pretty much forgiven and forgotten. I wouldn't be too worried. You know how she can be..."

Ibiki said nothing but nod.

"Go and pick her up, have a nice dinner, and then shag her until the sun comes up. And not necessarily in that order...A few good rug burns always takes the sting out of things," Fujiwara-san said winking. "I know. My late husband used that trick on me all the time. Make up sex is some of the best sex around. It can make a girl forgive and forget almost anything."

Ibiki chuckled. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Put all that frustration and anger to good use. A man from ANBU shouldn't have any problems...And if he does then he shouldn't be working for ANBU." Fujiwara-san smiled and rose as well. She stretched and popped a few joints.

"Just remember that she's been under a bit of stress lately. First you get put into the hospital and now two of her babies are growing up and leaving the nest. I can only imagine what she will be like twenty years from now when your first child leaves."

Ibiki smiled and looked down. The thought sent a sudden warmth through him. He could only imagine as well. He envisioned her crying for days, if not years. He knew that her anger was only half because of what the boys(and him) had done. The other half was just from nerves.

Fujiwara-san nodded and patted Ibiki's arm. "Don't worry son. Just try to understand it from her point of view, and even if all you want to do is strangle her. I know. I was the same way with my husband, and as gentle a man as he was I could see 'homicide' written in his eyes sometimes."

Ibiki looked at her and laughed. "Oh, of that I have no doubt. He must have ground his teeth down to nubs living with you at times."

"He had false teeth for a reason, Ibiki-kun."

Ibiki put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze.

Fujiwara-san nodded, smiled, and patted his hand on her. "For nothing. Just go and get he,r and try to keep her out of trouble."

Fujiwara-san left and Ibiki watched he go. The irascible old woman shuffled her way through the apartment and let herself out just as she had let herself in. He went and got his coat and started to make preparations for leaving. As he left the house he looked automatically across the street at their new home. He decided to stop and pick up some take-out before picking her up, and then after going home and having dinner he would follow Fujiwara-san's advice and take the edge off Ayu's anxiety. She must have a few places that still didn't have nibbles on them.

He walked down the street but not before looking back at his own home. He saw that Fujiwara-san had lit some of the lights in her place and he even thought that he could see her puttering about. He smiled and nodded.

"Thanks, Ume."

**End A/N:** So this is a small bridge into the next chapter of _**The Hidden Life**_. It should be up in about a week, and is entitled: _Hell Hath No Fury Like a Fool_ (working title).


End file.
